Keep it Real.

Survival Tips
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Your best chance of survival is: The Smooth Way.

You’re a smooth operator. You can talk the wool off a sheep’s back… nice sweater, BTW.

Your best chance of survival is: The Frothy Way.

You wear your frothy merits on your sleeve and it shows (BTW, it’s OK to use a napkin every once in a while).

Your best chance of survival is: Anybody’s Guess.

You’re a rebel without a straw. Will you go frothy or smooth? It’s tough to anticipate your moves. Unless you go every other. Then, not so much.

No.  1
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  1. The Ex-Classmate.

    You run into an ex-classmate at the mall.  You have no memory of them whatsoever.

    How do you keep it real?

    Say, "Are you on Facebook? How do you spell your name again?"

    Quickly turn to kiosk. Feign intense interest in 2012 Cats on Ladders calendar.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  2. The Intercepted Wave

    Somebody waves at you. You wave back. They weren’t waving at you.

    How do you keep it real?

    Turn it into a stretch.

    Keep waving. They’ll come around.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  3. Celebrity Encounter

    You find yourself in a hotel elevator with a celebrity.

    How do you keep it real?

    Say, "I don't think we've met. I'm…"

    Pretend you’re choking. Maybe you’ll get a hug.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  4. The Party Bore

    You have just been cornered at a party by what may just be the most uninteresting person in the world.

    How do you keep it real?

    Introduce them to a nearby friend and quietly slip away.

    Stare straight ahead and snore.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  5. The Telemarketer

    You just received a call from a telemarketer on your cell phone. On your cell phone!

    How do you keep it real?

    Ask if you can call them back at home.

    They can’t make the sale if you don’t speak the language.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  6. The Wedding Squeeze

    You put your arm around the waist of your significant other at a wedding. That is not your significant other.

    How do you keep it real?

    Say, “Sorry, I thought this was the part of the wedding where we hug.”

    Rock a little and gently sing “How Am I Supposed to Live without You?”

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  7. Hold the check, please.

    You just finished a meal at a restaurant and realize you forgot your wallet.

    How do you keep it real?

    Order something else. You’ll think of something.

    Calmly insist that the Illuminati pays no one.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  8. The long goodbye.

    You just said your goodbyes to a colleague. Now you’re both exiting in the same direction.

    How do you keep it real?

    Mention how good it is to see them again.

    Close your eyes and walk in place until they’re gone.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  9. No gifts, please.

    You just realized that no gifts, please was not meant to be taken literally.

    How do you keep it real?

    Tell them that you gave $100 to a charity in their name.

    “Where’s my present? Why don’t you look in the driveway?!” Then, sneak out the back.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY
  10. The Chatty Traveler

    You’ve been seated on an airplane next to the most talkative passenger in the history of aviation.

    How do you keep it real?

    Pull the sleep mask over your face and say, “Shh…”

    Recount for them in real time an entire episode of Family Matters.

    I'd Keep it SMOOTH I'd Keep it FROTHY

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1977

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1978

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